There comes a time where a divine balancing act must take place. There is always a constant ebb and flow in life and what we are presented sometimes can make us feel discouraged and defeated.
But as we all know, these hard times don't (usually) last forever... It can't be bad all the time!... And it can't always be blissfully fantastic either. Because really, if it were good all the time we wouldn't really appreciate it as much as we do when we have had a rough patch and things finally turn for the better.
Am I right? ...Yes, of course I am. Those peaks and valleys are just the way it is! ...A continual up and down roller coaster ride we call LIFE.
Now, I will be the first to say that the beginning of 2012 utterly sucked for obvious reasons. I have seen some dark, dingy, fearful, sad pitiful little valleys at times... chemo mainly has attributed a lot to that. Luckily this second drug I am on for the last 3 treatments is not as bad as the first half. Doesn't mean it has been a cake walk either cause holy gaucamole have I felt pain in my body like I have never fricking felt before! I am up a lot in the night hot flashing like a mother and every time I get up I feel like a 95 year old women.
Tis not good times. Thankfully, this too shall pass.
To balance out the majority of the year's crappiness, I have had some big happy things help pick me back up again and make life fantastic!
The first happy moment was getting engaged to Mike back in March! After being together for 8 years I can finally stop using the term 'boy-friend'! The title just sounded so wimpy and silly having lived together common-law for more than 6 years. So actually saying fiancé, husband and wife now just feels so much more natural and normal...and fun! Being engaged has been fun! We have some good times to look forward to together and I love knowing that I have the most compassionate, amazing, kind guy ever! Soooo good he is! :)
So since Mike and I felt so grown-up and all after that step we decided to be bold and make the big leap into the home owners world!
Introducing our cute little 3 bedroom rancher nestled on a sunny quarter acre:
We take possession at the end of June and could not be more excited! How cool does it feel to finally be able to say we have a place of our own!!? Extremely cool!
It has been something we really had been looking at getting around to for awhile but timing just was not right. Having said that, I never though that purchasing a home smack dab in the middle of chemotherapy treatment would be something I would have signed up for... and willingly too. Cause I hear home buying can be stressful??? hehe...
I think this was just meant to be for us because it all unfolded so well. Who knew cancer recovery and house shopping could go so well together? But really, as much as I am still in a bit of a low trying to solider on through my chemo treatments, having the house to look forward to is just such a great distraction. I have spent many hours on the couch looking at Apartment Therapy, Design Sponge and Pinterest house stuff getting ideas for the new place. These websites are like crack to me... It's my "House-Candy" and I am ADDICTED (with full CAPS ON)
Tomorrow is my 6th round in the Big Girl Chair. After that, only 2 more left! And as always, I can only wish/hope/pray that they will all go smoothly without any awful side effects or allergic reactions.
And hopefully with more memory of the first few days too after the treatments... the pre-med drugs along with the chemo drug have a 'black out' effect on me and I often am reminded days later about things that happened the day of chemo. Like the times where we go visit Mike's sister, the kids and Tao and I don't remember... or the day I was in the mood to window shop right after my infusion...
Mike: "Remember...we bought cat food, admired plants at Extra Foods, visited Jen and the kids, and then you wanted to go browse for furniture?"
Not remembering can be kinda scary. I try not to let it bother me cause more than anything it's almost amusing that I am that out of it and revved up on the steroid. It's like a bad hangover where you later start to piece together a bit of the drunken puzzle... Only I don't usually remember something unless someone actually brings something up.
Through all of this treatment nonesense I am trying to keep my chin up as much as possible, black-outs and all... And with the new house, a great guy and the end of chemo in sight, I'd say life is looking pretty good.
Things are looking up!